hey.

It's been such a LONG time since I blogged here. =(. well I kinfa miss this blog. Don't ask me why. So anyways, nothing much to say.

xoxo,
me.

ps. fuck my hair keeps dropping. :(

hey (:. it's been quite a long time since i blogged eh? okay my week was pretty okay and sad at the same time. =//.

went for badminton yesterday. it was really really fun. hahaha. XD. we were talking bout our hateeddddd prema leewaimin and liaolifen. nyahahaha. stupid teachers should just get sacked from this school or something laaa. :p:p:p. mhmm i partnered with aud and rach partnered with xianhui. lalala we teamed up and played. it was really funny and retarded cause we had many many unexpected stops fixing our hair tie-ing our shoe laces andstuff like that. :). negative! fsative! woo hoo. all keeaik's and ruzzzie's idea. :|. and then audrey and I had a long chatt which made me a whole lot better.

i decided to go for krs today. heh bite me. i don't care. it was pretty funn. i twisted my leg/ankle. damnn painful. tepuktepuk mario! i'm in group one with rachel and jane and jen. :D. i don't even know why i'm blogging bout this..so lifeless i guess. haha. yiming and I are talking again..we just started apologizing and told each other why we hated and bitched bout each other. well i feel better and i'm glad we had that conversation. i'll try to change that, i promise..=). and to whoever i've treated badly, i'm sorry. really sorry.

dad was disturbing me during lunch. really weird convo we had.

dad : who's your boyfriend now?
me : *gives a weird stare and drinking my soup. why are you asking me this question?
dad : well because i know there's something going on and you're not telling me and i want to know.
me : oh okaay.
dad : come onn! tell me who it is.
me : someone not in our school and you don't know him at all.

ohmygod. if he finds out bout him, i'm soo dead. i don't know why mum and dad just doesn't like him. blehh. he's a nice guy la weyh. my parents are prejudice againsn't mix guys! idiotic shit. hahaa :p. they said he's a player and he'll dump me after he find another girl. i shouldn't have even told them bout him. stupidity of me. bah. okay i'll stop blogging here before......u know what i mean right?

- this world is just sad because people makes it sad. and you have to move on with life without giving a shit bout it -

- joanne -

today was fine. skipped many periods today. damn i need my computer back. i'm dying without it laaa. ughugh.

this world is still damn sad. =(

i can't go online for one whole month cos dad took my computer away. i've already released ALMOST ALL OF MY ANGER yesterday so i guess i won't release it here. you want to know what his excuse is? ohh joanne i want you to study hard for your exam. i'm doing you a good deed and you will thank me one day. ugh. i rather swear on the phone rather than here incase he reads this part of my blog and i ended up gettingg grounded again

sighh. my life is just so sad and fucked up right now. maybe i'm thinking too much right now or something..but i just feeel so lonely. it's like as i'm drifting away from a few of my close friends..don't ask me why. i just feel that way ok? after whatever happened..i had to go thru everything myself. MYSELF. ugh damn it. i thought she will be there for me..but noooo she wasn't. she didn't even care or whatever. bloody hell. chaohai fuck. :/. even though i know the real reason why and yadayada..but i just feeel so stupid. maybe i don't know the reason but still i dunno la. let timee prove and shit like tht.

i went out with eliza yesterday. we were all dressed in black (: hahha believe it or not. cos we wanted to take pictures with white background and we dressed in blackk :p. so dad dropped us and we went to dreamworld..the pictures were okayy but we looked a lil retarded. hahaha xD. we looked like as if we were prisoners taking the you know picturee..eliza didn't bring her money..so i had to pay 20 bucks. that was all i had since i thought she brought her money. hahahahaa. we were in front of dreamworld and we just relaised we had veryvery little money =//. oh well and then we took our pictures, and went to vietnam kitchen feeling really dissapointed. i had two bowls of noodles. yumm ;). then we went to mph and sinma. and we went to dreamworld again. to take more pictures. LOL. the other one turned out okay =). she kept the pictures and promised to scan it since i can't go online for one month.

sigh i miss my com..ohh wait. jackson is my buddy. lol. we were talking crap the whole day and guess what? i almost hit my head on the pillar while replying his message. just like what eliza predicted. she was like : joanne if you don't concentrate on where you're walking. you're gonna hit on a pillar..just as i clicked the 'send' button, i looked up and a pillar or some advertistment thingie was right in front of me. ahahahaha stupidity. and i started laughing..she was like : people drink to get drunk you know but you get drunk just by laughing..and then i started HAHAHAHA ing and i think i scared a guy. cos he was giving me tht kind of O_O look. LOL.

we went walking around shopping after that and met up with mum in red envalope. dad bought a stick and i had to hold it..looks like a shaperd. heh. yeah we went to starbucks after that..and went home. and i found out that there was once mum was so hungry[i was two months old that time] and she just pumped her own breast milk and started drinking her own milk. hahahaha.

mhmm. i went for sunday school today. it was really fun. we had to plan our project thingie..and after sunday school jeremy showed me how a ****** looks like. it looks really really really disguisting and yuckish. it must be strawberry flavour since it was red in colour. he felt it said it feels oily. o.O joanne was scolding me cos i went to see without her..stupid girl not my fault la. you was bz talking with your friend. soo..to give her the chance to see how it looks like, we're going to the shop and buy a ******. hahaha. we were planning our scenario and it's really really stupid and weird. yet funny at the same time. =X.

she's coming over to study with me laterrr. she better. :).

i miss herrr and him. :(. anddd i don't like like the other her..it's not her fault or anything.. but i can't tolerate her attitute and it stinks cos i don't. i feeel bad but i can't tell people. cos they'll give me a weird stare and say i'm jealous of her something. but truth is..they don't even know her true colours. bah fuck it. i hate this.

all this friendship shit up's is killing mee and it'd better stop. i hope. though truth is..it will be this way forever.

ugh.  

what else do you want from me huh? TELL ME WHAT ELSE.

first you took away her. fine i can appect that.
than you won't allow me to be together with the person i like. fine with me too
now you want my MUM MY MUM and my bestfriend.
do you like really hate me or something. you want to take away everyone i love in my life.I'm begging you Lord Jesus in Heaven..to please protect my mum. please heal her Lord and delay the heart replacement as long as you can. because i don't want to lose my mum. she's means alot to me even though we argue half of the time. she's a great person you took away her eyes already..just please Lord, heal my mum and let her be with us. the family together.

sigh just came back from the hospital. mum was already awake..but she needs to stay in for a few days so that they can do the medical checkup and some shit thing la. i don't care as long as i have my mum right here next to me..doctor suggested that she put in her pacemaker as soon as possible..but mum wants to delay it yadayada. i'm sick of all this shit already la k/ please just heal my mum from ALLL and EVERYTYPE of sickness. a few months befre that, you told us that mum has suspected cancer. now heartpacemaker. bloody fuck ass doctor. just treat my mum well will ya?

because of this. i couldn't go with etain to ou. and today is ETAIN'S BIRTHDAY GAH DAMN IT. FUCK THIS WORLD LA K? first i can't go for my bestfriend's brithday celebration. nut not only that/ now MY MUM is sick in the hospital and she's in some weird condition. so you tell me what's wrong with this world. and nobody even cares a single shit bout me. the person i thought will care most didn't even care bout how i felt..and just left like that. sigh. bloody hell.

happy birthday etain =). i'm really really sorry i couldn't make it. i promise i'll make it up to you someday k? ;)

bad mood. weird and depressed. go away if you can't help me. i don't need anymore fucking problems